|This morning I was doing some research as to how I can become a certified wellness/health coach. There are all kinds of options out there, and just as I started feeling overwhelmed by all of these options, it dawned on me that I should get back to my wellness roots and utilize a fantastic resource that is available to me right here in my own community. So, I decided to check out what the National Wellness Institute has to offer. In addition to being their own awesome entity, the National Wellness Institute also collaborates with the University of Wisconsin Stevens Point (which is where I obtained my bachelor’s degree in Health Promotion and Wellness). You can learn more about the institute here: www.nationalwellness.org.
During my research this morning, I stumbled upon the below post. The National Wellness Institute has a blog where professional wellness advocates can contribute articles, packed with words of wisdom and expertise, on a variety of topics. In skimming through the articles, I found the below!! Here you have it!! See…I’m not the only one that says we should be good to ourselves!! 🙂 This is exactly what we have been talking about these past few weeks here at TheWellNurseLife. It is sooooo great to hear the same message from another wellness resource!
Instead of creating content for a post to start off this week, I decided to share Krissy’s post about being kind and good to ourselves….aka…self-love. Enjoy!
Be good to yourself,
Posted By Krissy Mulpeter, Friday, August 17, 2018
We have so many ways of fooling ourselves—of disconnecting our inner needs/desires from the thoughts that we tell ourselves or the words that come out of our mouths.
Women especially, but all people, are conditioned in so many ways to set aside what we want, what we need, in order to meet the demands that are placed upon us. For some this starts in early childhood when family dynamics encourage us as kids to set a need aside in order to cope with the situation, whatever it is. For others it is later when the “shoulds” start to set in. The expectations that society places upon us i.e. who we should be attracted to and date, what we should study, what job we should have, the list goes on and on. And everyone living in a capitalist economy and political system has demands placed upon us as people in order to survive, to work, to pay bills. Somewhere in there, some of us get tied up, blocked, stuck. Some of us get SO used to this position of external accommodation that we never really learn how to make ourselves happy or how to fulfill our own needs. And for some, it is almost uncomfortable to do something so far outside of our “normal” like an act of self-love.
With all of these pressures upon us, whether just from the demands of being human, from our relationships, or the pressure we put on ourselves, acts of self-care can be transformative, however small. Sure, as a therapist, I could dive into the therapeutic benefits of self-care, the way certain self-care activities can take ourselves from a place of trauma and stress to a place of processing, slowly allowing a reconstruction of sorts to occur. But in its most simple form, self care allows us to be whole. It is a reminder of what we are worth and that we are literally perfect just the way we are in that very moment.
It is easy to forget that taking care of ourselves is primarily our job as adults, not primarily the jobs of the people around us, our parents, our friends, or partners, etc. Sometimes the need for self-care can sneak in and disguise itself for:
3. Turning negativity onto yourself
Sometimes when these things are happening, it can be so easy to dive into the specifics; to focus on what your partner did that made you mad, what isn’t fair right now, or ruminate on your anxious thoughts that are seemingly unrelenting. It is so easy to let these things fools us, letting us believe that they ARE us. What I am suggesting, because it works for me, is instead of letting these things fool us into thinking they are an opportunity to exacerbate the negativity in your body and mind, use them as indicators that it is time for some self-care, whether it is gardening, painting, or going on walks (my three faves), or calling a friend, taking a bath, doing your dishes/laundry, or just putting on sunscreen.
Acts of self-love, however small, are transformative.
Krissy Mulpeter is an individual, couples & family therapist, yogini, and seeker of stories. She writes to explore topics in wellness, whole-hearted living, and healthy relationships to self and the ones we love. Krissy graduated from the University of Oregon with her M.S. program in Couples and Family Therapy and is early in her career as a therapist. When she is not doing therapy or writing, Krissy enjoys caring for her plants, cooking, going for walks, and practicing yoga.